Friday, December 07, 2012

Daddy's Second Thoughts (M/f)

© Guyspencer 2012

                                                         Daddy’s Second Thoughts

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Yes, I stole those words from Dickens, but they fit that day’s events perfectly.  So was that the “best” or the “worst” day of my parenthood?  I still don’t know!  I‘ll never forget the darkness of my mood after I received that phone call from her school.  My “little teen angel” had been caught cheating.


So why do I remember that day so fondly?  Perhaps it was because this was the first time she really seemed to understand why she needed punishment.  Always before, she made me feel like a heel for spanking her.  But this incident ended in mutual tearful forgiveness.  Certainly part of it was the way she allowed me to tuck her into bed afterwards.  Mostly, it was because I felt that we had really made a connection that evening.  It certainly wasn’t because that was the first and only day I ever spanked her with a belt, because that was a sad experience. 

Or was it?  

It isn’t often that a parent gets to wrap a duty in such a neat package; crime, punishment, and closure, all in the same day. 

So why do I feel guilty?

Fortunately, my ugly mood didn’t last as long as the trip to school.  By the time I arrived my initial snit had matured into sorrowful parental concern.   She was waiting in the office.  As always happens at times like these, my resolve wavered the moment I saw her angelic face.  But ultimately I ended up rising to the occasion and doing exactly the right thing.

I think.

I wanted to believe her.  I always want to believe her. Thank God she hadn’t claimed innocence, because I might have found a way to believe.  She did insist that this was the first and only time she had ever tried cheating.  Judging from what Mr. Foster tells me, that’s likely true.   Judging from her reaction to her punishment, I’m willing to bet it’s also the last time she tries cheating.   For any parent, that’s the perfect outcome.


Thankfully, Mr. Foster was alert.  He caught her the very first time.  That let me give Sue exactly the lesson she needed at precisely the right moment; a lesson that will last her for life.  This was a problem that never had a chance to fester and grow.  In a single day, Sue was able to try crime and experience the resulting punishment.  She will remember that lesson for life, remember the only time her bare bottom ever felt the sting of leather.  

I hope.  

I know what you’re thinking!  You’re picturing my daughter half naked, bent over, and with those first belt marks on her shapely little bottom.  A strapping hurts, but perhaps losing her pants and (especially) her panties was the worst part for Sue.  She tried hard to negotiate some alternative, but I stood firm.  As she doffed them, she cried.  Still, I gave her every consideration possible under the circumstances.  I turned my back as she removed them and put herself into position.  That preserved her modesty...

At least temporarily. 
If only her mother were still with us! Sue has the figure of a woman, so making her uncover her body felt wrong.  But on the other hand, I was doing my parental duty.

So some say.   

Her first tears were just alligator tears, intended to tug at my heart and hopefully induce me to cut her punishment short.  It almost worked, but true tears of contrition are impossible to fake.   When she realized that her punishment wouldn’t end quickly, she panicked a bit and tried to stand.  I restrained her with my left hand while my right hand continued to do its parental duty.  Then she started ineffectually kicking, showing me far more than I wanted to see in the process.  Finally she arrived at the proper mental state.  She cried real tears and showed real remorse. 

At least, I hope that’s what it was.

Anyhow, the deed was done.  Looking back, there’s no doubt that Sue is far better for the experience.  So is that why I feel good about it?  No!  Wait!  I can’t feel good about it.  It was a terrible experience. 

Wasn’t it?

© Guyspencer 2012